A Path to Homeschool Burnout: Guaranteed! (In just 5 easy steps)

I was slowly killing myself.

Not in a dramatic, movie-of-the-week kind of way—more in the death by a thousand unchecked boxes on my to-do list kind of way. But a multi-layer health crisis has a way of forcing your body to say “Girl, sit down,” and then promptly forced me to.

Some of the issues had been around for years, but in a manageable kind of way. But years of pushing, striving, and stressing just made everything worse. And the kicker? I did absolutely nothing to help myself along the way.

And it’s not just me. In the 15+ years we’ve homeschooled, I’ve watched far too many parents (mostly moms) create a homeschool environment that leads to homeschool burnout. Unintentionally, of course. When we choose to actively homeschool our kiddos, we are making the choice to do what’s best for them. And that can be a dramatically high bar, made worse when we set that bar based on other homeschools rather than our own.

There’s a reason that Susan Wise Bauer once quipped, “Everyone wants to stop homeschooling in November & February.”

So, in the spirit of public service, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned & observed. Consider this your very own “Cautionary Tale Survival Guide.”

So, how can you guarantee burnout? Easy peasy.

1. Set completely unrealistic expectations.

Make them so high that even Olympic athletes would cry trying to reach them. Expect yourself and your kids to excel in every subject, every day. (Bonus points if they do it all independently by the ripe old age of 8.) And don’t you dare settle for anything less than “Perfect Homeschool Family of the Year.” Ever.

2. Do ALL the things.

Every subject for every child every day. Every extracurricular. Every field trip. Every meal is home-cooked, entirely from scratch. Every load of laundry is done by you. Every therapy appointment. Every yard chore. Do. It. All. Bonus points if you never ask for help.

Double-bonus points if you passive-aggressively compliment yourself; that always wins the support of others.

3. Neglect your own needs.

Showers are overrated (except to project that perfect image). Quiet time? Give me all the noise, all of the time. Lunch can be a handful of tortilla chips eaten over the sink or the leftovers from your teen’s plates (ha, as if that exists!). Exercise is for people without kids. And doctors? You’ll catch up with them…once the kids graduate.

4. Stick with that curriculum you hate.

Sure, it makes everyone cry (sometimes loudly). But the internet moms said it was “the best,” so by golly, you’re going to push through until everyone breaks.

5. Parent like a drill sergeant.

Never mind that your sensitive kiddo is crumbling under the pressure. This is how you were raised, so clearly it’s the only way. Ignore that little voice in your head whispering, “Maybe there’s another way.”