When You Can’t Do Everything: Overcome Homeschool Burnout

Even experienced moms experience homeschool burnout. You don’t have to suffer through it! Come back from homeschool burnout with these ideas.

“Why don’t you guys close up your books & go play outside?”

It had been a long day. For everyone’s sanity, we needed a break from school. At 8:47 am.

As the garage door opened & outside toys — bikes, scooters, sidewalk chalk — were pulled into the sun & crisp air, I cried.

I cried out of frustration that the answer to 3×7 was completely forgotten like we hadn’t done it every day for the last week.

I cried over the unfinished projects that I hadn’t managed to make sure we completed. (And the ones on my Pinterest boards that we never started.)

I cried out of sheer exhaustion that comes from trying to do everything.

You aren’t Superhuman.

Supermom, sure. But Supermom ≠ Superhuman.

Rigid expectations, refusing to budge from those beautiful homeschool plans you made back in July, the broken dishwasher.

There are so many things that grind us down & wear us down.

Those ideas & hopes we have for our kiddos and our homeschool are beautiful, many of the things we actually have control over. (Not like the overflowing washing machine.)

When life happens — a kiddo forgets 3×7 (again!), another kiddo is diagnosed with dyslexia or dysgraphia, sickness invades, dad deploys — we grab onto anything that might make us feel stable. Even when flexibility & change are the real solutions.

Deep breath, drop your shoulders & eat some protein.

And drink some water.

Did you do it?

Taking care of yourself — relaxing your body, feeding it, watering it — is easy to overlook, but, oh, so important. You don’t need me to tell you that. Find someone in your life who will tell you what to do (not why you should).

Here’s the thing. As moms, we get in go-mode. And even when we stop, it’s often accompanied by a sense of what we “should” be doing instead. As you plop down on the couch to relax, you can see the dinner that needs to be made, the floor that needs to be mopped, and the basket of laundry that’s been a fixture in your living room for the last three days.

Even the time to relax begins to feel like another item on your checklist.

When you care for your family from a place of rest, you can enter into it energized & with a clear mind.

Preventing homeschool burnout is ideal, of course. But it can sneak up on even the most experienced homeschool mom.

But how do you unburn yourself?

Anyone who’s ever forgotten to set a timer for dinner knows that you can’t unburn it; you can only start fresh. (Or serve it burnt — which is only good when it’s a toasted marshmallow.)

After you’ve burnt a dinner, you’re pretty careful to set that timer, right? Prevention. We need to do the same with our homeschool. So what hasn’t been going right? And what can you do with that information?

• What needs to change on Mondays? On Tuesdays? After school?
• What is going well? List everything!
• What’s your homeschool’s big stumbling block?
• What is your favorite part of the day? What do your kids enjoy?
• What homeschool items really, truly must be done each day? Which ones can you move to do 1-3 times instead?

Maybe other questions come to mind for you, too. Give yourself time to mull over your answers.

Next Week’s Plan

Doing too much or the wrong things, losing focus, forgetting your whys, a host of outside pressures. We burn out for a variety of reasons. And there’s no single path forward. But giving yourself and your homeschool some rest is good for everyone.

But that doesn’t mean you need to neglect everything & let the kids run wild.

• Cut the schedule in half. Taking time off can cause more anxiety than relief sometimes. If that’s the case for you, cut everything in half and move the other half to the following week. Or skip it. (Completing 70-80% of a textbook is generally considered ‘complete’ in public schools. Not completing the last week of your year is fine.)
• Head outdoors every day. I’m not Ms. Outdoorsy, but getting outside (weather permitting!) is an easy way to reset myself. It can be as simple as a five-minute break on your porch to an all-day hike with your kiddos.
• Read. It’s no secret that I don’t love the act of reading out loud. But it’s an easy way to connect with my kiddos. And the act of doing something different is a good reset. Maybe you read assigned books, but maybe you grab some old favorites. Or take everyone to the grocery store & let them choose a magazine.
• Grab the remote. At least one day, turn the TV on for history, science, or just for something interesting. If you need some titles, here are 40 shows to watch about the 20th century, head out of this world with these shows about space, or check out one of my other streaming guides.
• Draw. Or paint. Grab the sidewalk chalk. Or another craft. The point isn’t for some museum-worthy final project. But working the creative muscles in your brain is both good for your mental health and for working muscles that you may not exercise very often. (We really enjoy Art Hub for Kids, even with teens. The directions are clear & the projects are simple. I have few drawing skills, but even my pirate boat looked like a pirate boat.)

Moving Forward

You’ve felt burnout. And while there’s no guarantee that you can stop it in the future, you’re not helpless to prevent it either. In addition to knowing the signs, check out this list of ideas.

A few more ideas as you recover from homeschool burnout:

1. How can you care for yourself?

• What are your favorite easy snacks & lunches? Bonus points if they are at least a bit nutritious.
• Your body needs you to move. What can you do about it? A short walk at lunch? A beginner dance class? Yoga? Pair it up with time to see a friend or your spouse. It doesn’t have to be an intense, hour-long workout. Just move.
• Do you like puzzles? A sewing/needle craft? Legos? A skills class at your local community college? Book club at the library?

2. Choose with intentionality.

Say yes when you really want to, and say no when you really want to. No, we can’t always do only those things we want to do. But when it comes to outside activities, we have a lot more leeway than we do with things around the house. (Those kids never stop eating, do they??)

The next time someone asks you to plan an activity, serve on a board, or take control of a field trip group, answer slowly. “Let me think about it.” And then do just that.

Often, the flattery of being asked propels us to say yes. And even more so, for some of us, when it’s something that gives us an outlet outside of our home & homeschool.

We can also be really quick to say no because we can’t imagine one more thing. And that may mean that you miss out on something that will be amazing and won’t feel like yet another to-do list item.

When we say yes or no because we’ve considered it carefully, we are answering from a place that is more about careful thought than obligation.

3. Schedule in buffer time/white space.

When you’re blocking off time to go to the grocery store, also schedule the time you’ll need to drive there and back + put away groceries. Classes or activities for the kiddos? Do the same. While you may only need an hour for swim lessons or shopping at Target, blocking off all the time associated with a given task means you have time to complete it well. And you’ll feel less rushed.

4. Block off time for you.

“If I had time to do that, Tricia, I wouldn’t be burnt out now.”

I get it. Taking time to yourself feels impossible when babies need Mama, or your husband is deployed, or you’re on the road all day shuttling kids to appointments, lessons, and classes. And there will be seasons when it is impossible.

I’m not discounting the struggle of finding time for yourself, I promise.

But I also know that, sometimes, we just need to do it & let everything else work itself out. We can make ourselves out to be more important than what we really are. I’m 100% guilty of thinking everything will fall apart if I’m not available.

15 minutes or 1 hour & 15 minutes. Once a week or every day. Choose something that works for your family & your current situation and change it when you need/want to, but be intentional about time that is just for you.

5. Set realistic homeschool goals.

A good average of ‘seat-work’ time is 20-30 minutes per grade. In our home — and this varied greatly by the kiddo, the day, etc — that looked like 10-15 minutes of math & 10-15 minutes of some type of language arts. History, science, art, etc. were group subjects & took additional time. For littles, there was some definite flexibility in what I expected!

6. Plan to be behind.

Because you will be. At some point. In one subject or all of them. With one kiddo or all of them. It happens.

Adjust your attitude to expect it. But also plan for make-up time. Start with one afternoon a month — if that is enough catch-up time, then keep at it. If you don’t need it one month, you can get off early or start on the following day’s work.

Again — we’re creating a buffer, so we’re less rushed & less stressed.

Is it time for a big change?

Maybe. But not right now. Decisions made in the midst of emotions are rarely made with a clear head. And what you don’t need is to end up in another state of burnout in a few more months because you made a decision that didn’t actually solve the issue(s).

Right now, focus on a slower pace, enjoying your kiddos, rediscovering the joy of homeschooling, inspiring curiosity in yourself & your kiddos, and taking care of yourself mentally & physically.

Curriculum changes, changing your approach to homeschooling, putting kids into public school, joining/dropping a co-op. All of these are decisions that need to be made after you’ve spent time identifying what’s really going on.

Super Homeschool Mom

You’re not Superhuman, but you can still be a Super Homeschool Mom. A superhero knows their strengths & their weaknesses — and plays into them. They also know what’s too much.

Being a super homeschool mom isn’t about producing the kiddos that graduate high school with their bachelor’s, obtain the highest amount of merit scholarship offers, or start a business at the earliest age.

No, it’s about raising kiddos who know that relationships are important. That there are hundreds of ways to take care of ourselves. It’s modeling the art of saying no — and yes — with intention. It’s about modeling the importance of education and caring for ourselves.

A super homeschool mom (shamelessly!) looks toward others when they need help & reassurance. And changes course when it’s important. She works to create a homeschool unique to each of her kiddos’ needs. She pushes when they need to be pushed and is a cheerleader to slow down when they need that, too.

That’s you.

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