What to Expect When You’re Homeschooling: Keeping it real!

Ah, are you of the generation of moms who were pregnant as the What To Expect When You’re Expecting (and the subsequent parenting books) were popular? Maybe they’re still around.

Those books felt like, at least to my newly pregnant self, that they focused on the worst-case scenario. Yeah, your body does weird things. And bad things happen & far too frequently. But mostly? It’s all pretty normal.

And I think that way when it comes to homeschooling, too. Yes, some parents don’t do a great job with it. Some kids have struggles beyond what their parents can handle. And there will be tears and confusion…and so, so, so much joy.

1. Your school day will be interrupted. 

Maybe it’ll just be minor, like a sick kiddo or a kiddo finding an ant infestation in your home. (BTDT) Perhaps it’ll be a broken bone, a surgery, or time off to care for an aging family member.

And your kiddos will learn to roll with the punches. They’ll see that, sometimes, the most important thing they’ll learn that day isn’t found in a textbook; it’s found when they take the time to see people and care for them.

2. You’ll make changes.

Changing gears makes my heart sing. That might sound crazy. But making changes means I’m listening to our needs — those both spoken & unspoken — and I’m willing to figure it out. 

It’s also an opportunity to model that to our kiddos. And it’s not just the chance to model how we change gears but the humility in saying, “My choice wasn’t as good as I hoped, let’s try again.” 

3. You’ll wonder if you’re really cut out for this.  

And it’ll probably be in November or February. Or May. (Hat tip to Susan Wise Bauer’s wise mom for this observation.)

I occasionally pondered this when I held my babies. Or when I dealt with them at three years old. And, for sure, when they were 12. But none of those times were rooted in homeschool woes. Those pondering would have happened regardless. 

Rather, homeschooling gave us the flexibility to slow down when relationships needed to be the focus. It taught patience for my oldest while she waited for me to return from chasing the 3yo. And it gave me sweet memories of the big two around me on the couch — math papers, pencils, and National Geographic’s Dinosaur Encyclopedia for Kids — while the littlest nursed.

Homeschooling isn’t always the best choice in every season for every kiddo or every mom. And that’s okay, too. It’s okay to change course. 

4. When it comes to your home, you’re going to feel scattered & grapple to find your footing. 

You’ll forget to buy an ingredient for dinner, probably on an evening when you’re busy. A chore you’ve rescheduled three times will get rescheduled a fourth. And you may close your eyes as you walk past a room — if you can’t see it, there can’t possibly be a mess.

But it won’t last forever because you’ll work as a family to clean up. And dinner can be okay missing that ingredient — or PB&J will save the day. 

5. You’ll (figuratively) toss a book out the window. Maybe you’ll regret it, maybe you won’t. 

There are too many good books in the world to spend time drudging through ones you don’t enjoy.

Admitting ‘defeat’ is a skill our kids need to see us model. Whether it’s a bad book, an outfit we spent too much money on, or a lifelong relationship, showing our kids that we can always walk away from something that isn’t good is a life skill. 

(FWIW, the rule in our home is to give a book three chapters or 50 pages, whichever comes first. A wise older lady in my book club will read as many pages as her age before setting it aside.) 

6. You’ll be behind. 

Maybe it’s just a chapter or two in a book. Or a couple of math lessons. Or, perhaps, it’s 13 weeks into the school year, and you just realized that you never planned writing. (BTDT, too.)

You’ll make decisions on what lessons need to be completed and which ones can be marked ‘done’ without ever starting it. And maybe you’ll regret those choices this time and learn from them before next time. 

And you’ll learn how to better plan for your family. A little more buffer, perhaps a slower math pace or fewer books, or set aside an afternoon every month or two as a time to catch up.

And you’ll model grace for whatever caused the incomplete lessons to pile up. And show your kids how to keep going anyway.