Why We Quit Homeschooling
Yep! We have decided to quit “homeschooling”
Now, before you go and start assuming things, let me explain myself to you.
We decided to homeschool our children early in the spring before our daughter was to start Kindergarten. I had never even considered homeschooling our children.
I mean, aren’t those people weird and have no social skills? Who wants to do that to their children?
It was pressed heavily on my heart and I couldn’t ignore God calling me more and more to keep my children home. To educate them here.
It wasn’t an easy decision, the one to not send my children to public school. In fact I spent hours in prayer, in tears, and in many, many conversations about this decision.
In the end my husband and I decided that keeping our children home was the best decision for our family. Oddly enough we have had tremendous support from friends and family. It has been wonderful. Up until now, anyway.
Over the years my job has taken a new path. God has placed some amazing clients and opportunities in my way. I have been working hard trying to get homeschooling in and work done.
Most days would end in tears or spent the with raised voices and me spinning my wheels.
It was time for a change. A big change.
I began to pray. I asked God to show me what I needed to do.
QUIT HOMESCHOOLING!
YES! That is the answer. QUIT.
No, they are not being enrolled in public school!
How does that work? Well, I am glad you asked!!
The past few years I have viewed homeschooling as school at home.
You know, get up with the chickens, spend 8 hours working on grammar, addition, subtraction, cry a bit, work on some reading, cry some more, work on hand writing, start to sob, and then finish the day out wondering what, if anything at all we had learned.
It was exhausting. So, we have stopped!
This is home education.
We are not tied to the 8 hour school day. Being home means we can study things that we find interesting. Watching videos on Netflix on whales and blubber then covering our hands in shortening and dip them in icewater, all for the sake of science, means we can call it a day!
Each week we can go to the library, check out 10 books on horses, come home and spend the entire week in pajamas reading until our heart is content.
Realizing that my ultimate job as my children’s educator is to ensure that they believe in trust in The Lord has been life changing. Everything else is falling into place.
Most importantly we are spending more time together and enjoying our time together as they learn.
Don’t misunderstand. My children are not allowed to run around and play video games all day. They spend time engaged in lessons each day. They are constantly learning.
We just decided that the traditional homeschool thing was just not for us!
So, there you have it! Now you know why we quit homeschooling!
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LOVE this post! We are in the same boat. I have gotten more relaxed with our homeschool schedule. My son enjoys learning so much more when I let him guide me. We still work on the essentials… but now he gets to pick topics to study and loves it.
Thanks so much for sharing! I hope the changes are helpful to your family on your home-educating journey!
Thank you, Wani. I got so wrapped up in what I *thought* I should be doing I lost sight of the goal. I pray that you find that this year is your best yet!
~Steph
Does your state not have requirements? I’m new to the homeschool realm. Left a high paying, high stress job 3.5 years ago to stay home full-time with my two boys – now 4.5 (private pre-k) and 6.5 (public Kinder). But lately the Lord has asked me to “just consider” homeschooling. I am trepidatious, but being obedient, but at least researching and reading lots of blogs. I was just under the assumption that each state has requirements to be met. Am I wrong???
Our state does have requirements and though we are a bit more laid back than we were, we still meet them and then some. For me, I had to get over the “school-at-home” mentality of it. That is the reason we homeschool. So that we are not bound by the same schedule and curriculum as public school. Both of my children are very bright and hitting most all targets. So, I am not worried about it. We are only in K and 2 right now, too. If we were in middle and highschool we would have a larger, longer day. Does that make sense?! Clear as mud, right?!
Interesting read. I just have to point out, you do not have to school your children 8 hours a day when homeschooling. 4 hours is the limit. You can do more than that , but most people don’t. But whatever works for you and your family. I am glad you found something that doesn’t stress everyone out. 🙂
I I am a 2nd year stay at home single mom. (On disability) last year was streeful for me, because I was trying to do an hour a day/subject. This year we are more prepared! 🙂
We’re in the same spot! Good for you! Love this post!
Thank you, Ren. It is hard to find yourself in an uncomfortable spot while homeschooling. Praying for wisdom for both of us!
I am interested to know what “quitting” homeschooling looks like practically lived out. I am very burned out with school. To the point where it is paralyzing. My kids are fine. They aren’t throwing tantrums. My husband is very supportive. But I am really, really sick of school. So, I’ve been trying to think: what should I do different? My plan for a normal day of school has been:
Eat breakfast
Get dressed, get kids dressed
Opening: Learn a new hymn, Recite group memory work, Bible lesson, History or Science Lesson
My 11 year old does almost all of his work by himself except math. He works on Piano, Memory work, English Grammar, Writing, Spelling, Handwriting, and Latin all by himself.
I work with my 9 year old on Math, English Grammar, Spelling or Handwriting, Reading. He does Piano, Memory work, Computer Class hmwk, and sometimes reading by himself.
Then I work with my Kindergartener on Reading, Handwriting, and Math.
I have a four year old that just plays by himself all morning because I don’t have time for him.
One thing that I am not happy about is that we do not do science projects or history projects or hardly anything creative. We don’t do crafts or games. Mostly because I grew up public schooled and was trained to do sit at a desk and do worksheets and bookwork. It is very, very difficult to be creative and to come up with things on my own. We often do not do projects and crafts and the like because I feel very strongly that it takes too much time and effort to come up with all the materials and to plan it and then, execute it. And I don’t enjoy doing it. And I don’t know how to fix it. We do take field trips from time to time. When someone in our homeschool community plans one.
Also, what is the balance between needed bookwork and creative projects and the sort? I am really frustrated, really not happy with school, and would love some insight.
Have you considered joining a Classical Conversations community in your area? It has worked wonders for my family! It meets the science experiment and art requirements, not to mention community support and relationships!!
We don’t have one near by or I would LOVE to join in on one.
Andrea, I know your post is 3 yrs old but what did you end up doing? I hope you found some answers!
Lapbooking may take some of the stress off your shoulders. No tests, no stress over those test or what was learned. Though that day does sound pretty full to me. Perhaps, take some time to see what could be spaced out (not need to be done every single day). Also, if it “can’t” be done by say noon or 2 in the afternoon and you feel good about it, maybe take a bit of a break with the less essentials.
What an interesting post! You really surprised me with your ending, especially after you mentioned God had called you to homeschool. I love how it’s worked out for you!
We have a similar attitude – I am no longer worried about trying to “fit in” all the busy work and things we “should” do. We do work that is meaningful and productive for us. For us, that means lots of living books, great novels, math and interest-led science (except for the 8th grader).
We took the year off of spelling (except for my son who is learning to read) and it didn’t harm my kids one bit. We saved a couple hours each week by not doing spelling! No grammar here, either, except for discussions that came up in the course of the day.
Thanks for a great post!
Thanks for the insight. I’ve always wondered. We haven’t officially started HS yet, but it helps me get a better picture. Thank you.
Monica
God can call you to a change too. I was called to homeschool for many years (19), but then He asked me to let it go.
Amen!! We visit the subject year to year. I never planned to start homeschooling and I don’t plan to quit. God will lead me where He wants me to go!
~Steph
Wow, it’s been one year since you wrote this, but it is really hitting home for me.
I just enrolled my son in public school kindergarten after homeschooling him for the first half of the year. I felt compelled to make this decision because he had a few acquaintances, but not any friends he saw on a daily basis. Driving 30-45 minutes to actives isn’t very practical either. It’s unfortunate that in public, most homeschoolers obsessively talk about how socialized their kids are. I’ve found that behind closed doors, many of them worry that their kids haven’t really made any close friends. Also, I felt it was unfair to say homeschooling was a better option than public school when my son had never been to public school. By trying out both options, one will likely emerge as better, and we can make a more educated decision about schooling options after he has actually tried them.
Hi Lisa,
This journey called motherhood is hard! There is no instruction manual. We have to do what God leads us to. That will look different for you than it does for me and that is OK! Follow God! He will show you the way. If you need help, prayers, or anything at all, we at MTM are happy to help!
Thanks for reading!
~Steph
Love this!! This is exactly how we homeschool. It just makes more sense for us!! Trying to follow a strick schedule for us only made us hate homeschooling. Thank you for sharing. God Bless
It’s easy to get wrapped up in the must does and the examples others give. We must find our own way or we will fail. I hope you find your groove and love homeschooling as much as we do!
I am so sorry that it took you so long to find out that school at home is not the same as homeschooling. Calling school-at-home homeschooling makes me sad because homeschooling should never look like a school room. This seems to be an issue that has become more prominent in the last few years.
It is such a slippery slope when you start homeschooling. It is hard to find what is the right atmosphere for learning. It is individual to each family. For me and mine, we are very relaxed and enjoy learning in all areas of life, not just while we have books open.
Thanks for stopping by!!
Stephanie
I really enjoyed & soaked up this post!! We are taking our granddaughters out of public school and home schooling them, but, like you–tears & prayers & talking & researching…and I’m an organized person. I was worried about 4 different grade levels and meeting goals and how am I going to get this all done in one day & NOT short-change our girls. Your post reminded me that we are doing this FOR the girls–less pressure, more learning fun, more inspiration & most definitely MORE GOD!! Although, I need to mention that their current public schools are God-based…thank goodness for small town schools!
Karen,
I am delighted to hear that this post helped encourage you to follow through with your calling. It is hard to realize that we are doing this FOR our littles, not to them. There will be days that you will question why you ever thought it was a good idea, but more than that, there will be days when you wouldn’t image life any other way. Enjoy your time and have fun!!
Be blessed,
Stephanie
I am happy to hear a different phrase for it. 🙂 We go at our place, aren’t really focusing on which “grade” the kids are technically in because we are struggling through math sticking, but a 5th grade reading level. Science is raising & rescuing animals, Mythbusters ( because they do all the work), or what else fancies us that day. We also a Classical Conversations group & work on the cleaning, laundry, cooking, etc. All in all, less tears, less stress, happier children.
Mrs. JEF,
I am so happy to hear that things are going so well for your family. One we find what is best we need to capitalize on it for sure.
Have a great day,
Stephanie
We definitely and purposefully school at home. (Not that everyone should!) There are several reasons for this:
1) We started homeschooling to keep from having my oldest from being in up to 3 different schools her kindergarten year. (Oh, and she missed the cutoff by 3 weeks but was pushed up at the first school. So we would have been dealing with multiple schools as well as age waivers at each. And kindergarten isn’t even required where we ended up.)
2) I don’t anticipate homeschooling through high school, so I want the transition into a traditional school to be as smooth as possible whenever it happens.
3) We need the structure of a set schedule. We finished kindergarten without one, and it was very difficult to actually do school consistently (unless I spent all my spare time and then some coming up with fun learning activities that were inevitable extra messy.) We have a master plan of which lesson in each subject falls on which day, and for the most part we follow it. Sometimes we’ll combine a couple of lessons into one or do some school on a Saturday instead of a weekday to make extra time for family adventures, but having the schedule helps me keep on track.
4) Having the curriculum helps me know I’m not leaving any gaps in the education. We do a lot of extras related to current interests. We also throw in extras that correlate with the curriculum. At the same time, she is being introduced to new topics through the curriculum.
5) She is learning the discipline of doing something she doesn’t feel like doing. At the same time, I’m able to monitor exactly what she needs at a given time. For example, she doesn’t have to sit through a ton of review because someone else doesn’t understand something. (And NO busy work!)
6) Recess. It doesn’t matter if they’ve been playing for two hours, they still get excited when I tell them that it is recess time. Same thing for vacation days. Knowing that a weekday is a no-school day (that won’t be made up on Saturday) is just an amazing feeling for them.
PS – I can’t imagine doing it this way with more than 2 kids. I know there are video/computer lessons that some people use, but we tried one last week. The sample video for a particular subject was of the lesson we happened to be on, so I let her do it without me. There were some cool aspects to it, but she took at least twice as long to get through everything and didn’t comprehend it as well.
Tricia,
The beauty of this journey is that we are all able to do what we feel is best for our families! I am thrilled that you have found what is best for yours.
Be blessed,
Stephanie
I absolutely love this post (found it on Twitter). I have to agree with you. I’ve been homeschooling for almost 10 years now, and every time I get close enough to public school at home we tend to veer on the side of super stressed.
We are currently in the process of easing out of an online school that worked really well for us for a short season, but needless to say, doesn’t support our family’s vision for peace at home and relaxation. We are home, and learning should take place naturally within certain parameters…but we don’t have to be a slave to our schedules and to curriculum. Thanks for this post!
I went threw the same thing but I had it a little different. My mom on her death bed in my front room asked me to Homeschool my kids if the school still gave me trouble about my son being so intelligent. I shattered my wrist in six pieces and my mom on her death bed. My son in a second school and daughter also. At Christmas, a week before, my mom passes, family didn’t even help me just came asking if she left them something. When school year ended I was praying. Here I was single mom with two children and no job till February. I had lots of trials and praying but once school started my son was bullied by the new principle and she was black and mad at him being the way he was, helpful. By his birthday on November 2 was the last straw. I took him home and tried to let my daughter still go but they banned me to ever get her so I took her out also. We started the homeschool just as you did but now doing the New way of Homeschooling. They enjoy this way and I don’t cry as much but we have more time together.
Amy,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother passing and the sadness you have endured. I am praying that things are better for you and your family now. Homeschooling, while hard, is one of my greatest blessings.
Have a great day,
Stephanie
Oh I so agree!! We’re not called to do “school” at home. Learning happens everyday, all the time and the less pressure on their shoulders, the more they will love to learn and they will learn on their own.
We’re in a similar season. Things are much more relaxed than before and we are loving it! 🙂
Oh this does my heart good! I started the Lifeschooling Conference (www.lifeschoolingconference.com) in Charlotte, NC because God put a burden on my heart for homeschoolers doing “school at home” who are burning out and sending their children back into the system. I was doing a little research for an article I’m writing about why homeschoolers quit and I was expecting your post to depress me like all the others. But no! What a clever way to explain that you shifted from a “school at home” approach to what we would call lifeschooling! 🙂 I am so happy to read that you discovered a better way to be with your family and educate them in a way that merges real life with homeschooling.
don’t take this negatively because I want to so this also. but what about transitioning from high school to college. the transcripts and required subjects and electives. my junior is burned out because this past year I have worked more hours and he has had to do a lot on his own. that isn’t what I want for him.